Mothers and fathers teach their kids to take a dump on the big toilet when they are little. Do you want someone to teach you this shit. Golf is, in the end (and it can be a pain in the end), something that you have to work out and master yourself. Cause, when push comes to shove (and neither of those moves are appropriate for your golf swing) , you are the person holding the club. When that little white ball stares up at you in its unblinking benignity (I mean who puts dimples on a ball?) you are the only one who can take back that club and hit the bejesus out of it. How to…how to… you want me to tell you how to?
The How To Golf Dilemma
I am not suggesting that you don’t get some lessons (at least 6 sessions to start with), rather I am reminding you that, ultimately, we are all responsible for our golf games. The constant search for improvement in your game of golf can be a curse. Working on developing a repeating, reliable golf swing, can be a life long mission (and we all know what can happen to missionaries). Don’t get me started on positions at the top. How to…how to… you want me to tell you how to? Learning golf can be like that and sometimes its like being in the can and running out of loo paper. Half way through your round and your effing swing goes missing. You limp back to the club house like you had to wipe your arse with a bunch of leaves. Not very effectively and don’t get me started on hygiene issues.
The How Problems With Ancient Shit Like Golf
You see, golf is like something ancient, in that modern human beings don’t wield clubs or big sticks anymore. Golf is like a story from another millennium; and the world has moved on into push button, touch screen, AI (we don’t need you anymore puny human) faster than a blink of the eye instantaneous processing. What that means is that playing golf has to be done in mental slow motion like you are in some b/w movie from the silent era. No wonder it fucks with our heads a lot. I know some golfers who take the opposite approach and they swing so fast, so that their minds don’t have time to think. As always it is a case of whatever works for you. I remember reading Harvey Pennick back in the day and he mentioned how useful it was for folk who used those old scythe type weed cutters. But fuck me dead how long have those things been out of circulation? It had me thinking about trawling through museums and antique junk stores in the hope of coming across one. I told you that golf can mess with your head.
How To Live With Yourself As A Golfer?
Eventually, we must all come to some kind of dirty dancing moment with our golf game. No, not bent over like that. Heapers jeepers, you will do your back in for sure like that. What I mean is that for all the how to… how to… you want to know how to? OTT golf learning crap is not the answer, you must live with who you are as a golfer. We cannot live like Peter Pan in our potentiality forever in never, never land.
Amen.
Robert Sudha Hamilton is the author of The Stoic Golfer; What Price Life?; Money Matters and America Matters: Pre-apocalyptic Posts & Essays in the Shadow of Trump.
©GolfDom
