Maybe, this is following some sort of internal script, like the 9 stages of grief or something of that nature? I mean you pin your flag to the fortunes of a footy team for nie on 30 years and there is a considerable amount of emotional investment there. That team finishes the AFL season 2nd on the ladder and your hopes are riding pretty high on the basis of that performance over 23 weeks or more. Suddenly, from left field a sex scandal emerges engulfing the best players in the side. Before you know it the club has stood 5 senior star players down from the remainder of the 2026 season, including finals. To say you are gobsmacked is a fair understatement. Sydney Swans sink their flag hopes via sin.
How Does A Sweet Heeney Turn So Sleazy?
The poster boy for the AFL, Isaac Heeney, is at the centre of an alleged sexual assault investigation by Victoria police. I knew those tattoos were a bad sign, appearing on the previously squeaky clean Heeney skin some time last year. The million dollar Colgate smile will not be showing on a screen anytime soon, I suspect. How does a sweet guy turn so sleazy? Is it the company he keeps? They made him Vice Captain of the team and he has killed their premiership season. Chad Warner, Nick Blakey, James Jordon and Riley Bice were also on this ship of fools – now sinking their AFL careers, as we speak. ‘The wages of sin…’
High Moral Fibre & No Dickheads Please
How can you trust these guys ever again? Put yourself in the shoes of their team mates, who have slogged their guts out all year, only to see it go down ignominiously. Sydney Swans sink their flag hopes via sin. Yes, it is a modern day sin to drink and dally with young women of the night, if you are an AFL player. Especially, if you are part of a club, which has built its reputation on high moral fibre. The legendary ‘no dickheads’ policy! That has, perhaps, embraced a blandness as payment for a scandal free history. Peroxide tips notwithstanding, the Sydney Swans AFL club has not stood out previously for all the wrong reasons. Bye, bye that solid reputation.
Community Standards & Exotic Dancers
Community standards have been let down, it appears from the limited information available around this transgression and alleged sex crime. Inappropriate touching of exotic dancers, according to the Herald Sun newspaper report, is at the centre of this alleged sexual assault. Older heads might be scratching their bald spots over this, but we live in a new world these days. Cynical bastards might see some sort of more lucrative angle in this, but we just don’t know at this point in time. What it does tell us, is that footy players are not the sharpest tools in the shed, no matter how rich and successful they might be. Played for suckers? Had too many knocks to their heads? AFL is a tough game.
Bottom Lines Worth Billions
The bottom line is that you don’t go out on the town after a match during the season. You don’t invite or pay for exotic dancers to come back to your hotel room. To do this in the heart of Melbourne, the home of AFL, is batshit crazy and deserving of the kind of punishment seen on the Three Stooges. Only this time there were 5 stooges falling over themselves to destroy their reputations and that of their footy club, the Sydney Swans. You would have to think that some players will be sacked or moved on over this. It may appear harsh to some readers because blokes do stupid things all the time. It is, however, a different kettle of fish when you are on million dollar plus salaries paid by corporate sponsorships and broadcast deals worth billions. Big business owns these fellas and their club.
What Will We Tell The Kids?
Back to my grief. Every day of the week, we supporters live vicariously through the fortunes of our tribal love for our footy clubs. We ride the highs and lows of our football side’s performance in the win/loss sense. We honour these elite footballers with our cheers and boos. We care or give a fuck about them along with tens of thousands of others on game day and through the week. They run out onto the field with our blessing. To be let down like this on the eve of finals is a slap in the face and a twist of the guts. Cheer, cheer the read and the white… We will have to wait and see, as deflation emanates like a tired fart. Can you go on supporting after such a betrayal by your on-field heroes. What will we tell the children? Sydney Swans sink their flag hopes via sin.
“What is sin, daddy?”
How will Chad Warner and Nick Blakey front up to the Auskick kids and explain what happened to the Swans in season 2026?
What Will Riley Bice and James Jordon tell those sick kiddies on charity days about their absences from the team during those crucial finals?
Dirtbag News
“The five names that have already been out there – Isaac Heeney, Chad Warner, James Jordon, Riley Bice and Nick Blakey – are the ones firmly in the frame. They’re the ones who played around with the stripper. Heeney is in the deepest water. Sources say he touched her… “
Big Money & AFL
“Talking heads in the AFL media like to tell us that all the players are in it to win a premiership. This may have been so back in the day, when these commentators were playing themselves, but it aint so black and white these days. Big money is on offer for lots of AFL players and this is now the number one driver in the game. Two million dollars a season is a juicy carrot for those at the very top and many will park their premiership aspirations in favour of taking the dough firstly. I point to all those Gold Coast Sun’s players who left to pursue their careers at other clubs despite winning a final last year and having a 3 time premiership coach, Damien Hardwick at the helm. The allure of more money and a Melbourne based AFL club gazumped the premiership motivation. Big money and sport: It isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! “
Robert Sudha Hamilton is the author of The Stoic Golfer; The AI Heresy; What Price Life?; America Matters: Pre-apocalyptic Posts & Essays in the Shadow of Trump; and other titles. NOW AVAILABLE AT APPLE BOOKS & GOOGLE PLAY BOOKS. Google Play Books AUDIOBOOK
©GolfDom
The AI Heresy: A Betrayal of Humanity – PDF
Robert Sudha Hamilton has written The AI Heresy: A Betrayal of Humanity – PDF