Sheep, according to reports from those on the land, are truly delightful creatures. So, no bad s*** intended to besmirch the character of our hooven equipped friends. Why most golfers are sheep? It is because they tend to dress and do the same stuff in contrast to doing their own thing. Golfers all basically wear the same sort of attire. They seem to really like branded gear, as if they are in one of those movies where they flash in large letters place names on the screen. You know, like LONDON or NEW YORK or WHEREVER! Golfers love to emblazon their person with TITLEIST or TAYLOR MADE or PING or CALLAWAY. Hats, caps, shirts, bags, and umbrellas are walking, talking bill boards on course.

Golfers & Belonging To The Tribe

It is, in my view (and I do it too), because we want to belong to the golfing tribe. Somehow, we see ourselves as more golfer by being branded by these golfing labels. The golfer bitten by the golfing bug wants to belong to the true believer’s tribe. Perhaps, it is, also, because the darn game is so hard to consistently master.

We regularly lose our identity as golfers when we play like busted arses and flail our way around the course.

Our game may not stand up to scrutiny but our branded attire does. The touring pros are paid sponsorship money to wear COBRA or WILSON STAFF gear but we pay the manufacturers for the same privilege in a bid to feel like we belong out there on the links. It could be viewed as a bit of a sad story but we don’t care what outsiders think. Playing golf is hard to do for a variety of reasons and I wont go into that here but the difficulty of the game contributes to our feelings of insecurity, I reckon.

Sheepish Golfers & Saying Golf Things

Golf is an arcane pastime and many of its characteristics are attributable to cultural stuff from yesteryear. This is despite the high tech materials now used in the construction of clubs, balls, and equipment more generally. The game of golf is beset by hundreds of rules and pages of protocol and acceptable etiquette. It is a game largely designed by snobs and retired bank managers. This exclusivity hangs over golf like a shadow of apartheid and misogynistic bias from former times. A bit like that drunk great uncle you  come across at Christmas. The majority of golfers, in my experience, are conservative by inclination. Perhaps, it is the stoic nature of the game itself, where grinding out scores is the order of the day.

Golfers like to repeat truisms and cliches related to the game. You will frequently hear ‘I don’t go that far on my holidays’ – after a well struck drive. Or ‘You don’t have to draw pictures on the score card’ – when an ugly but effective shot is struck.

There are quite a few of these well worn sayings commonly uttered on-course. Like a secret handshake these are mentioned to confirm membership of the golfer’s club. Yes, I am wearing the white belt and shoes, the branded gear, and I am doling out the golf cliches. I belong to the brotherhood and recently begrudgingly allowed sisterhood of golfers at large.

Golf & Robotic Sheep

Why most golfers are sheep?

Golfers tread warily around a course containing 18 holes and tracts of land. We are forever on the look out for danger, because if not, you need your head read. 100 mph swing. Huge expanse of land. Very small hard ball. Four by four they made their way around the course. Fore! Look out, duck and cover! Like sheep being led to the slaughter most golfer’s lose their tempo, swing, and ability to maintain composure over nearly 5 hours of competition. Strokes mount up like a cricketer smashing a century. Of course our wary golfer is need of some branding to boost self-esteem and identity.

Ricky Fowler & Bright Orange Sheep

Golfers don’t want to stand out for the wrong reasons. Although Ricky Fowler started a particularly loud and ugly trend wearing electric orange gear. Especially, when it is copied by tens of thousands of aged, overweight golfers globally. Sunglasses become necessary on the course. PUMA. Kids must love the branding, I suspect, it is a teenage kind of thing. I remember donning T-shirts with COKE emblazoned. Teenagers want to belong to the tribe.

Only For Sheep

Golfers buy the equipment manufactured by the top brands. I was recently selling some of my excess golf sticks and those from the big four – TAYLOR MADE, CALLAWAY, TITLEIST, and PING- went like hotcakes. Conservative golfers tend to stay close to the shore when it comes to investing their dosh in new equipment and gear. Only for sheep. Golfers who willingly stand out from the crowd are rare beasts. Belonging has its price, I suppose. You don’t want to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Many golf industry folk talk about the advantages of club fitting. Perhaps, it is more than just finding the right clubs for your game. It could be more about fitting in with the woolly golfer tribe by having the correctly branded gear. We, maybe, all learn to walk and talk golfer-speak in our bid to become accepted by our brother and sister golfers. Sashaying down the fairways with gleaming white belts and branded golf caps is our pilgrimage in this modern day church of recreation. Herded animals like sheep feel more secure moving around in numbers and doing the same thing. Cyclists in Lycra are another manifestation of this but we wont go there. The obsessive nature of golfers is clothed in special gear.

Wisdom from The Stoic Golfer: Finding Inner Peace & Focus on the Fairway by Robert Sudha Hamilton

Available at Amazon

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